Tuesday, June 23, 2009

White Girls CAN!

This was written 1/30/2008. Its kind of an angry rant about a lot of things.. So...Beware.

The other day I was buying groceries. Included in my lot was a bottle of Sriracha hot sauce. The person who rang me up was a "spicy" little Latino girl with black lip liner and painted Sharpie eyebrows. As she scanned my items she came across the hot sauce and with a somewhat shocked, somewhat cocky demeanor, she snorted "YOU eat THIS hot sauce?"

At first I did not catch what she was getting at so I just answered with "Yeah, I love that stuff. I put it on EVERYTHING!" To this answer, she scoffed and continued with her duties. (I really do put this hot sauce on everything, it is delicious!)

It is only now, days later that her sarcasm is finally getting to me. How dare she just assume that I am the wonder bread-tater-tot queen of whiteness?! I can not begin to count the many times that similar assumptions have been made about me, my friends, my family... etc.

Another story: Just the other day I was telling someone at work about my little brother who does the long jump in track for school. His retort, jokingly, was that white people can't jump. In all actuality, my 13 year old twig white boy brother broke the all-time school record for the long jump. He had the longest jump in the history of the entire school. White people can, in fact, jump. If someone wrote a screenplay for a movie entitled "Black Men Can't Swim" there would be a huge uproar.

Stereotypes about white people usually slide right by because for some reason it has become okay to be racist against white Americans. (Not only white Americans, but heavy people, white people, gay people, women etc.)

I would just like to clear up a few things:

Just because I am white does not mean I do not have the intestinal power to withstand spicy foods, Ms. Sharpie Eyebrows. So bite me!

Being called "white-bread" or "redneck" or "cracker" is just as racist as being called "Porch monkey, Honky, Spic" or other things of the like.

White people CAN jump. They can run, jump, flip, and hop. We all have the same general muscle structure and tendons.

In regard to fat girls and white women: We CAN dance. We can shake our hips. We can feel the beat. Just because I'm white or bigger doesn't mean I have no rhythm.

Speaking "street" sounds just as stupid and unintelligent as speaking "redneck". Also, just because I speak with generally correct grammar and have opinions about things that matter doesn't mean I am an uptight bitch.

Being white does not automatically mean that you grow up privileged and being black doesn't automatically mean you grew up poor. I have had to work just as hard as anyone for what I have in life. I have been homeless. I have lived without electricity or running water. I have bathed in lakes and washed clothes in the river. I have been an outcast, poverty stricken, Ramen noodle eating fool.

In regards to religion: Being Atheist does not mean that I am without moral values. I don't need you, your God, your religion, or your crooked religion backed politicians to tell me what right and wrong is. I try to be a good person because I WANT to be, not because if I don't I will be sent to hell. Also, just because I don't believe in God doesn't mean I believe in nothing. I'm an Atheist, not a Nihilist.

Just because I don't attend college does not mean I am lazy, lacking intelligence, or not trying to better myself. Perhaps I am just fickle and change my mind too often. Or, perhaps I just learn better away from a classroom setting.

Um, You have spinach in your teeth.

This is another old blog that I found and decided to re-post. This was originally written 12/31/2007.

I find astonishing all the things I say internally that never make it to the surface to be spoken. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if everyone just spoke exactly what was on their mind.

There would be no fake or "pity" laughs. One would just tell another that they are not funny. There would be no mindless chit-chat about the weather. If someone asked you "How's it going?" you would know that they truly did care and that they were not just asking to be polite or fill in the silence. None of the usual pleasantries would apply.

I find myself, more often than not, just smiling and nodding when my mind is really saying "I can, in no way, relate to what you are saying." I find myself censoring my words to avoid hurting feelings or to avoid being judged or to avoid being too forward about my feelings or to not seem "clingy".

I also find myself not only censoring, but completely turning around what I feel like saying and saying just the opposite. When someone is trying to be witty, but not succeeding, I really just want to say "You do not amuse me." and/or "You sound like you are trying to hard to impress me." Instead I say "You are funny!" and give a little giggle.

When someone is telling me intimate details about their life that I'd rather not hear, why do I just go along anyway? I, along with everyone else, have grown so accustomed to pleasantries that it doesn't even feel fake most of the time. It feels like normal genuine courtesy.

I wish that everyone had it in them to pay the courtesy of truth. It is not unlike telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. It is one thing if it is something the person has no control over, but if it is something that can be changed for the better, shouldn't we man-up enough to tell someone that they metaphorically have "spinach in their teeth" so they can make the effort to remove said "spinach"?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


This is a poem that was on my blog before I erased it all. I am posting it on here again because I like it. I wrote this when I was about....17. Which is almost 10 years ago. Scary.

Considered to be a weed by most,
They have no specific reason to boast.
Yet still they shine their happy smiles,
And grow on the roadside for miles and miles.

Fragile? No not this little dandy.
Who wasn't allowed to keep company with the pansies.
Strong as ever even after you mow.
You pull, you dig, but still they grow.

Never asking anything from above.
Just water, sunshine, and a little love.
Never getting much from people in return,
But we all know no matter how much you burn
This little flower will never be gone.
It will forever haunt your heart and your lawn.


Sometimes people say things like "Its so easy! Anybody could do it!" I think that I know some people who need to ask themselves whether or not they are part of that "anybody".

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I am a cloud.

I am a cloud. I am adrift in the sea of emotion and life that is the sky. I am never the same from one moment to the next, but even though I am constantly changing, I know myself. I know who I am.

I believe:

*In great big stretches and yawns and sneezes
*In trying to make your own art before buying prints of others work
*That the right frame can make any picture instantly prettier
*In blowing bubbles in my chocolate milk
*In dancing when I am alone in an elevator
*In loving your pets like children
*In spoiling your pets and/or children whenever possible
*In wearing perfume every day, no matter where you are going or what you are doing
*In SPF 50 sunscreen
*In doing things just to say that I've done them
*That watching the sunrise will always make the day brighter
*In singing out loud to myself, no matter how horrible I sound
*In high thread-count sheets
*That saying the right thing in the right way can instantly change any situation or confrontation
*In dollar store, thrift store and yard sale shopping
*That regular massages are essential, not extravagant
*That my toes are people too
*In the power of exfoliation
*That things made in mini sizes are automatically cuter than the original
*That letting your kids play in the dirt (and occasionally eat some) is good for them
*In long naps whenever possible
*In aging gracefully
*In reading children's books (as an adult)
*That the right bra can change your life
*That the sounds and words you hear daily affect your mood more than you think they do
*In buying myself flowers
*In working as little as is necessary
*In moving the furniture around regularly
*In letting my hair "do it's own thing" most of the time
*That smiling makes you feel good, even if you have to fake it at first
*In asking lots of questions instead of pretending to know
*In talking to strangers and saying "Hi" to my neighbors in the hall when I see them
*That if I could stick both arms out to my sides at the right angle and run fast enough, I could fly
*That having the occasional "melt-down" keeps me more balanced than meditation (ha-ha)
*In reading several books at once
*That coloring books are therapeutic
*That things are almost always more than what they seem
*In doing whatever it takes to make myself happy because in the end, I have to answer to me

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Suicide The Bunny

This is a poem I wrote a long time ago. It is one of the things that was backed up when I deleted my whole blog by mistake. So, I am posting it again.

One day suicide the bunny woke up sad.
He didn't realize life could ever be this bad.
He said, I give up. I'm going away.
Why should I bother with life anyway?

He just gave up and kissed his mom goodbye.
She was none the wiser.
If he had told her she just would have cried
and that might have made him reconsider.

but nonetheless, this little bunny did leave
his little bunny house that very eve.
He walked the long distance to the road.
His bunny shoulders carried such a heavy load.

This was the way to end his pain,
He thought, "my life will not be in vain".
And when he had traveled the distance so great and so far
he met his suicidal fate at the hood of my car.