White Girls CAN!

This was written 1/30/2008. Its kind of an angry rant about a lot of things.. So...Beware.

The other day I was buying groceries. Included in my lot was a bottle of Sriracha hot sauce. The person who rang me up was a "spicy" little Latino girl with black lip liner and painted Sharpie eyebrows. As she scanned my items she came across the hot sauce and with a somewhat shocked, somewhat cocky demeanor, she snorted "YOU eat THIS hot sauce?"

At first I did not catch what she was getting at so I just answered with "Yeah, I love that stuff. I put it on EVERYTHING!" To this answer, she scoffed and continued with her duties. (I really do put this hot sauce on everything, it is delicious!)

It is only now, days later that her sarcasm is finally getting to me. How dare she just assume that I am the wonder bread-tater-tot queen of whiteness?! I can not begin to count the many times that similar assumptions have been made about me, my friends, my family... etc.

Another story: Just the other day I was telling someone at work about my little brother who does the long jump in track for school. His retort, jokingly, was that white people can't jump. In all actuality, my 13 year old twig white boy brother broke the all-time school record for the long jump. He had the longest jump in the history of the entire school. White people can, in fact, jump. If someone wrote a screenplay for a movie entitled "Black Men Can't Swim" there would be a huge uproar.

Stereotypes about white people usually slide right by because for some reason it has become okay to be racist against white Americans. (Not only white Americans, but heavy people, white people, gay people, women etc.)

I would just like to clear up a few things:

Just because I am white does not mean I do not have the intestinal power to withstand spicy foods, Ms. Sharpie Eyebrows. So bite me!

Being called "white-bread" or "redneck" or "cracker" is just as racist as being called "Porch monkey, Honky, Spic" or other things of the like.

White people CAN jump. They can run, jump, flip, and hop. We all have the same general muscle structure and tendons.

In regard to fat girls and white women: We CAN dance. We can shake our hips. We can feel the beat. Just because I'm white or bigger doesn't mean I have no rhythm.

Speaking "street" sounds just as stupid and unintelligent as speaking "redneck". Also, just because I speak with generally correct grammar and have opinions about things that matter doesn't mean I am an uptight bitch.

Being white does not automatically mean that you grow up privileged and being black doesn't automatically mean you grew up poor. I have had to work just as hard as anyone for what I have in life. I have been homeless. I have lived without electricity or running water. I have bathed in lakes and washed clothes in the river. I have been an outcast, poverty stricken, Ramen noodle eating fool.

In regards to religion: Being Atheist does not mean that I am without moral values. I don't need you, your God, your religion, or your crooked religion backed politicians to tell me what right and wrong is. I try to be a good person because I WANT to be, not because if I don't I will be sent to hell. Also, just because I don't believe in God doesn't mean I believe in nothing. I'm an Atheist, not a Nihilist.

Just because I don't attend college does not mean I am lazy, lacking intelligence, or not trying to better myself. Perhaps I am just fickle and change my mind too often. Or, perhaps I just learn better away from a classroom setting.