This is another old blog that I found and decided to re-post. This was originally written 12/31/2007.
I find astonishing all the things I say internally that never make it to the surface to be spoken. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if everyone just spoke exactly what was on their mind.
There would be no fake or "pity" laughs. One would just tell another that they are not funny. There would be no mindless chit-chat about the weather. If someone asked you "How's it going?" you would know that they truly did care and that they were not just asking to be polite or fill in the silence. None of the usual pleasantries would apply.
I find myself, more often than not, just smiling and nodding when my mind is really saying "I can, in no way, relate to what you are saying." I find myself censoring my words to avoid hurting feelings or to avoid being judged or to avoid being too forward about my feelings or to not seem "clingy".
I also find myself not only censoring, but completely turning around what I feel like saying and saying just the opposite. When someone is trying to be witty, but not succeeding, I really just want to say "You do not amuse me." and/or "You sound like you are trying to hard to impress me." Instead I say "You are funny!" and give a little giggle.
When someone is telling me intimate details about their life that I'd rather not hear, why do I just go along anyway? I, along with everyone else, have grown so accustomed to pleasantries that it doesn't even feel fake most of the time. It feels like normal genuine courtesy.
I wish that everyone had it in them to pay the courtesy of truth. It is not unlike telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. It is one thing if it is something the person has no control over, but if it is something that can be changed for the better, shouldn't we man-up enough to tell someone that they metaphorically have "spinach in their teeth" so they can make the effort to remove said "spinach"?
4 years ago